FAS – (Futile And Senseless) aka “Farce”

steffiw.wordpress.com

Note: Fás – Foras Aiseanna Saothair – Is the state run training and employment authority in Ireland.

I happened to be near a radio during the week and whilst “working away” remodelling a utility/breakfast room with my oldest son, during our “coffee break” I listened to the two presenters discussing the fact that the American “dog whisperer” was over here in Dublin, one laughed at this and the other one told him what animal whisperers do/did and that it was very lucrative for this particular guy and he was well known, the other presenter went on to joke about whispering to dogs etc.., so they asked that anyone in Ireland that was an animal whisperer to phone in. To be sure, as they say, someone rang in a little while later and I kid you not this woman was a FISH whisperer, as you can imagine this was met first with silence and a “I beg your pardon”, soon to be followed with this woman giving an account of what and how she did it!

What is so laughable about this was that yes she did have to get in with the naughty fish and most of her work was done in a tank/bowl (we are not talking Seaworld here) and whisper/talk to it, but she was deadly serious and she had trained for this with Fas, over 4 years and they paid her to do this – okay nice work if you can get it, however what a complete and utter waste of money, when Ireland is clinging on, looking well into the abyss and going down the pan (quicker than a goldfish…) I cannot imagine that she makes a living out of this – surely no-one can afford such frivolous things – now-must tighten the old belt now darling, downgrade the car, cancel the gym membership and oh yes, I am afraid “goldie” will have to forego his anger management counselling with the fish whisperer!!

These training courses that Fas run are supposed to train you for work – a proper job in the real harsh world, more than ever they should be training people for skills needed badly now? If any of my children left school and went on a Fas course and then came home and said I did think about the electrician/carpenter/mechanic/whatever course, however I thought it would be better financially etc.., for me to choose the “fish whispering” course as this would provide a real skill and long term job prospect, I would have drowned them in the nearest f*%$ing bowl! Read more…

Leprechauns get official Protection from Europe!!

According to an article published in the Dundalk Democrat (Wed, 24th Feb ’10), the European Union (EU) has finally said YES to the Leprechauns.

ekayodee.wordpress.com
24.Feb.2010

Slieve Foy Mountain on the Cooley Peninsula, Co Louth is set to become an official designated Area for the Protection of Little People by the European Union.

In March, representatives from the EU commission will travel to Ireland to formally announce it as a ‘Designated Area of Protection for Flora, Fauna, Wild Animals and Little People’ under the EU Habitats Directive.

Folklore has it that, in 1989 a local publican P.J.O’ Hare was on Carlingford mountain, when he heard a scream coming from an area beside a Wishing Well. Curious, he investigated and found an area of burnt ground beside the well– lying beside it there was a little hat, jacket, and trousers; the clothes of a Leprechaun. In the pocket of the jacket were 4 gold coins, and being a typical Irish sceál, the whereabouts of the Gold coins is known to only one other person in the community. But he maintains he cannot divulge there whereabouts. To this day, the suit of the Naked Leprechaun remains in a display case in PJs pub on Tholsel Street in Carlingford.

The discovery in 1989, led to the establishment of the Carlingford National Leprechaun Hunt where each year hundreds descended on the mountain to hunt for leprechauns. This year will be no different with celebrations organized for Sunday, March the 28th.

Frances Taylor, Cooley Peninsula Tourism Officer said: “This is another significant recognition from Europe in regards to our heritage and tourism product and the way in which it is responsibly managed. While we are delighted with the increase in visitors that are discovering this area as one of Ireland’s most beautiful hidden gems, we are committed to sustainable and responsible tourism. We believe it is vitally important to be sensitive to the environment and all inhabitants within the destination.”

The “continuing deterioration of natural habitats and the threats posed to certain species” are one of the main concerns of European Union’s environment policy. The area surrounding Slieve Foy is now listed under ‘priority’ habitat under the EU Habitats Directive Natura 2000.

According to the Dundalk Democrat article, at the beginning of February, the working committee received a letter of confirmation, something that pleased Kevin Woods, one of the original members of the group. He said: “It is a long, detailed procedure and it has taken nearly eight years to secure the future of our heritage, culture and folklore. We are delighted in the knowledge that our little people will be protected from extinction and allowed to thrive on the mountains.

Creid é nó ná creid!!

www.carlingfordleprechaun.ie

Comedy: Sarah Palin Exclusive Interview with Charles Gibson on ABC!!

Direct link to video at Youtube

Sarah Palin’s Irish Cousin Disowns Her – Updated

by CrawfordMan
www.dailykos.com

Sat Feb 20, 2010

Sarah Palin’s Irish cousin, Simon Lathrop, a Church of Ireland pastor, is embarrassed by Sarah as we find from reading in The Irish Central,

“In the last few months, I have been inundated with calls from genealogists who said they were acting on behalf of an American family trying to trace their roots,” Lathrop said.

“The intensity of it got me curious and when I probed further I discovered that the people who are searching were connected to the Palin campaign.

“They told me that they were trying to establish some Irish credentials for her in the build up to the campaign, but I have told them that I have no interest in being used as some sort of electoral pawn.”

Lathrop does not intend to help his relative achieve her political ambitions.

Lathrop went on to tell the newspaper, “I wish the lady all the luck in the world, but if she is in favor of hunting and shooting and warmongering, then I for one will not be welcoming her and will not be encouraging the Irish to vote for her if she runs in 2012,” he said.

Lathrop is gracious, however, and is willing to have tea with Palin.

Irish Central’s article, Sarah Palin’s cousin disowns her

They’re trying to establish some credibility among Irish Americans, for “the campaign.”

Update: A commenter at Irish Central has written:

Leitrim would be Kilmore diocese – www.kilmore.anglican.org and Galway would be Tuam diocese – www.tuam.anglican.org Some old ‘parishes’ so-called were actually civic units of area and did not always correspond to modern ecclesiatical parishes. The CofI website is, as far as I know, complete and certainly each diocesan one would be. The Church of Ireland has fewer than 500 rectors in total, and I have not heard of this fellow, unless he has recently been appointed. There doesn’t seem to be any mention of him on the web apart from this news report, which seems a bit suspicious to me.

Note: The article is in the ‘News’ section of the magazine, not in ‘entertainment,’ ‘politics,’ etc. The article says the cousin is a “pastor,” not a “rector,” which is what the doubter is writing about. The article says that the cousin is living in the midlands. It doesn’t say where he is serving or served. He may be retired, too — religious figures often continue using their last title as an honorific, like “governor.” Of course, it may be a hoax! But it’s easier to comment on an article than it is to write a hoax. Anyway, now there is another “Palin Mystery” to be solved.

Update 2: The story has disappeared from The Irish Central and from ABC News.
It may well be a hoax! Perhaps The Irish Central has decided to check the facts. At the blog where this diary originated, it was noted that one of The Irish Central’s commenters believed that the report originated at newsfromireland.com, a parody/spoof site. Until we learn otherwise, I’ll add a “hoax” tag to the diary.

Source: www.dailykos.com/story/2010/2/20/134714/602

Gordon Brown Plans To Have Cosmetic Surgery. To Be Able To Weep At A Drop Of A Hat

www.stirringtroubleinternationally.com
February 15, 2010

Dan Majestic writes: Rumours abound that Prime Minister Gordon Brown is planning to have cosmetic surgery to install two weepy implants in his eye sockets so that he can start crying any time he feels like it.

Boistered by the huge success of his recent TV interview, in which he wept over the death of his baby daughter in 2002, Mr Brown is said to be keen to continue this charm offensive on the British public, especially as the general election is getting closer by the day. The PM is hoping that his weepy implants would allow him to cry when he talks about the British soldiers who are dying in Afghanistan, about the old people generally and, of course, about starving children in Africa and natural disasters in other distant places. Downing Street advisors are convinced that Mr Brown can score serious points by coming across as human and sensitive to other people’s pain and grief.

‘We want the Prime Minister to be able to weep at a drop of a hat,’ one senior government advisor said. ‘Voters like that sort of thing. They want their leader to be shedding a tear more often. Just look at what it did for Paul Gascoigne and Andy Murrey, two very average athletes, who became cult figures overnight when they were shown crying.’

Mr Brown, who has a reputaion of being a cold-hearted bastard, badly needs to improve his image among the British voters. Although he managed to improve his somewhat eerie smile in the past two years, many people are still not convinced that the unelected prime minister has what it takes to be compassionate and caring. Rumour has it that he laughed diabolically when he raided the private pensions in 1998, pushing millions of British pensioners into poverty, and that he likes to watch videos of puppies and kittens torturen and skinned alive. Recent disturbing revelation in a book by a former Labour spin doctor paint Mr Brown as a violent man, who suffers from constipation and lets his feelings rip when he feels he needs to suck a bit of energy off others.

The operation to insert weepy implants will be conducted in a private clinic in Harley Street by a famous surgeon who is rumoroed to have operated on such celebrities as singer non-son writre, Cliff Richard, former President Ronald Reagan and international terrorist Osama Bin Laden. The operation will be funded by the taxpayers as it was decided by the government that as Mr Brown is so loved and appreciated by the British people they would not mind if a couple of million smackers were spent on his health. Read more…

Those Were The Days My Friend… The End Of The Euro Is Nigh

www.stirringtroubleinternationally.com
February 11, 2010

Martin McCauley writes: ‘Those were the days my friend, we thought they’d never end…’ as one famous song went.Remember the time when the euro was launched with great fanfare as the common currency of the European Union in January 2002? The French and the Germans were beside themselves with glee: the euro, they proclaimed, would become so powerful that it would eclipse the almighty US dollar and rule the world. For a while over 375 million people used the euro every day and it was considered the second most important international reserve currency.

Not anymore, though. The Greek economic meltdown has undermined confidence in the euro. There is a feeling that Spain, Portugal, Ireland might follow the same path and go bust.

Imagine a meeting called by the head of the European Central Bank (ECB) in Frankfurt with all 27 member states present, plus some overseas guests.

ECB President: ‘Guys, you will forgive me for interrupting your busy schedule but we have important matters to discuss. When we adopted the euro the outlook was very rosy. We thought that our currency would take over the world and replace the US dollar. The Chinese were behind us, as were the Indians, Russians, Brazilians and everyone else who wanted to see an end to Yankee domination. Even Hamas has asked us if we could arrange for the euro to become their currency, so that they could piss of the Israelis and the Americans.’

Gloomy silence hangs in the hall.

ECB President: ‘However, the Greeks have let us all down by going bankrupt. We imposed stringent conditions on them in order to join the euro zone. They met all our criteria with flying colours. Unfortunately, everything their finance ministry sent us was false. They simply made the numbers up. What are we to do with the Greeks?’

An angry voice from the floor: ‘Hang them out to dry. Let them slide into the Mediterranean. Why should we bail them out with our hard earned money? They are lazy and will have to learn some financial discipline.’

Another voice from the floor: ‘But isn’t there a danger that the Greek workers will wreck the whole country.’
He is interrupted by shouts of: ‘So what, we can spend our holidays somewhere else!’

ECB President: ‘May I continue? If Greece goes down, Portugal, Spain and perhaps Ireland would follow. It could become a chain reaction. Where would we be then? We would all become paupers. So we have to bail them out.’
Another voice from the floor: ‘No, no, no. Only over our dead bodies. We must teach those lazy bums that we do not provide free lunches for them. They have to stand on their own two feet.’

Voice of reason from the floor: ‘The communist in Greece actually want the country to collapse. Then the workers there will take power. The corporations and fat cats will all be put in prison and forced to disgorge their stolen wealth.’

Hushed silence prevails for a while.

Cautious voice from the floor: ‘We are risking to inflame a class war in Greece. It might spread to other weak states. Remember the communists almost took power in Portugal in the mid-1970s and also in Spain and Italy further back. No one loves a banker, let alone a central banker at present. So how do we avoid being shredded by the incoming revolutionaries?’ Read more…

Marriage Is To Be Banned In Europe Soon. Well, Sooner Than Some People Think

www.stirringtroubleinternationally.com
February 11, 2010

Anton Goryunov writes: The word in Brussels is that the European Union will be looking to ban marriage as a form of cohabitation between a man and woman in the not so distant future. Well, sooner than some people think.

The idea behind this exciting project is that the new EU constitution, dubbed ‘the Lisbon treaty’ and adopted with such eagerness by all the 27 member countries, snubs religion anyway and thus opens the doors to the good old tested pagan ways of people shagging each other silly, without any commitment. The motto here is this: F..k those pesky kids with their stupid needs for a ‘mummy’ and a ‘daddy’. Let them wonder around, free as animals, and copulate when they feel like it.

The move to ban marriages is bolstered by the fact that most senior and middle-ranking EU officials are compulsive adulterers and pleasure seekers. Escort agencies and bordellos in Brussels have been reporting a huge growth in business, helped by the vastly increasing numbers of EU bureaucrats. ‘We’re on a roll here,’ one madam told me. ‘We have so many requests from the EU for quality pussy that we’re, quite frankly, struggling to find new girls to work for us. Mind you, demand for young handsome lads is on the rise as well. And it’s not just the women clients who ask for their services.’

More and more swingers’ clubs are opening their doors in Brussels, with swinging becoming a favourite past time for many EU officials. Some commissioners are known for their love of swapping their spouses, to spice up their sex lives. ‘Staying faithful to each other is so yesterday,’ one official told me. ‘Who wants to be sleeping with some old hag or an impotent fool on Viagra when there are so many hot married babes and guys out there. F..k fidelity, that’s what I say.’

Polls conducted by the European Commission, in a discreet manner across the pubs and bars in Europe, point to a growing number of married people saying that they would rather lead a life of debauchery, perversion and sexual degradation than come back home every evening to spend time with people they don’t really like anymore. 67 per cent of respondent, questioned when drunk or stoned, confessed to dreaming of wild sexual practices, with total strangers, and, in some cases, with pets and even cattle and wild beasts. Only a small minority of people polled said that they would prefer a stable relationship, involving commitment and marriage vows. Read more…

Famed French intellectual cites bogus ‘Botulist’ philosopher

PARIS – Agence France-Presse
Tuesday, February 9, 2010

French celebrity intellectual Bernard-Henri Levy has been caught red-faced quoting a “Botulist” philosopher who, it turns out, was invented as a joke by a journalist from a satirical weekly.

In his new book, “De la guerre en philosophie” (Making war in philosophy), Levy cites the insights of Jean-Baptiste Botul to show that German philosopher Immanuel Kant was not the bright light that some believe. He has since discovered, however, that Botul is a fictional character, created as a literary satire by journalist Frederic Pages, who writes for the tongue in cheek Le Canard Enchaine.

Levy admitted he had often quoted Botul’s work “The sex life of Immanuel Kant” during public appearances and now in the pages of his latest book. “As it turns out, it was a hoax,” admitted the author in a statement posted late Monday on the Web site of his magazine, La Regle du Jeu.

“It was a truly brilliant and very believable hoax from the mind of a Le Canard Enchaine journalist, who remains a good philosopher all the same,” said Levy, known by his initials BHL. “So I was caught, as were the critics who reviewed the book when it came out,” he wrote. “The only thing left to say, with no hard feelings, is kudos to the artist!” Read more…

Bulgaria Minister Thanks UK For Police Cooperation Against ‘International TOURISM’

Note: As of 04:40 GMT Tue 09 Feb 2010 — The Bulgarian (Sofia) News Agency Website Novinite.com has what we presume is a slip-up — ‘International Terrorism’ is substituted by ‘International Tourism’ — Sadly not only is it funny but it’s True! — Interesting to see if Novinite pick-up on this — Maybe an employee of the News Agency made a recent trip to the USA and after experiencing the TSA they are making an accurate report and it’s not an error after all!

www.novinite.com
February 8, 2010, Monday

Bulgarian Interior Minister, Tsvetan Tsvetanov, has thanked the UK for helping Bulgaria boost its cooperation with Europol.

Tsvetanov is part of a delegation led by PM Boyko Borisov. On Monday he met with his UK counterpart Alan Johnson, the press center of the Bulgarian Interior Ministry announced.

The Bulgarian Minister expressed his gratitude to the UK government for helping the Bulgarian Interior Ministry with developing a strategy for bringing the police closer to society, and with realizing a PHARE Program project for tackling internal corruption.

The Bulgarian government has made it clear it valued highly UK’s lead in improving the quality of real-time information exchange and police cooperation within Europol, as well as the deepening of transatlantic cooperation against international tourism.

With respect of the EU Security Strategy presented by the Spanish EU Presidency during the EU Council in Toledo, Minister Tsvetanov outlined Bulgaria’s major priorities – guaranteeing the rule of law in the country, tackling organized crime, and being radically strict against corruption.

He cited the moves of the new government for removing the redundant functions of police institutions in Bulgaria as an example in that respect. Read more…

Polish priest checks fingerprints for mass attendance

WARSAW (Reuters) – A Polish priest has installed an electronic reader in his church for schoolchildren to leave their fingerprints in order to monitor their attendance at mass, the Gazeta Wyborcza daily said on Friday.

The pupils will mark their fingerprints every time they go to church over three years and if they attend 200 masses they will be freed from the obligation of having to pass an exam prior to their confirmation, the paper said.

The pupils in the southern town of Gryfow Slaski told the daily they liked the idea and also the priest, Grzegorz Sowa, who invented it.

“This is comfortable. We don’t have to stand in a line to get the priest’s signature (confirming our presence at the mass) in our confirmation notebooks,” said one pupil, who gave her name as Karolina.

Poland is perhaps the most devoutly Roman Catholic country in Europe today and churches are regularly packed on Sundays.

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